Given that I don't let a lot of personal rants to go into this page, I feel the need to do so now just because I need the therapy posting a rant provides. So below is me ranting about my job. I don't think I need to specifically mention what my job is since you can get what it is if you read the rant below. So without further ado, let's move on to the rant.

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Testing can be done by anyone, even those who do not have an IT background. Given that the scripts being used are not retarded. Coding, however, cannot be done by just anyone and even those who have had a background in coding are not all that assured that they can be good at it. So telling me that testing is something special well, I will tend not to believe it. Sure it helps the company and the project a lot since it makes sure that their products have minimized errors when deployed but for the developer himself/herself, it seems very hard to sell this skill since a lot of companies in the industry do not put much stock in testing and the people who do them. Except maybe this company.

So basically I'm screwed.

There will be no more onshore assignments that involve testing or script making. They tell me that there will be but the chance of that happening is slim to none. I've been in the project for 4 years. This is the first time that role opened up and considering how small it is, that task is not going to come up again except maybe in another 4 years.

So I'll have to kiss that one goodbye.

So the question is...what do I do? Do I continue to stay here or not?

Testing, I am given an opportunity to be a team lead. Not bad. But being a team lead is not really something I planned for. I don't really like the role per se. But the possible benefits...well they are nice. But testing is boring crap. I've done it and I've always thought it to be boring. I just happen to do it well. But the thing is that I won't even really be doing a whole lot of testing. I'm supposed to be doing admin work and that's even boring work. Not to mention something I'm not all that good at.

They tell me that I can go to design. I preferred that since it's new and there are opportunities to have an onshore assignment in that side. But since Kat is there, the chances I'll get the onshore assignment or having a better position in the team is also slim to none. But it's new ergo not boring...yet.

Going to a new project is also an option. Well that's really not boring at all but I'm afraid. And Automatic Testing has coding and is not very far from what I do well (testing). Not to mention, if I learn how to make automatic testing objects, that's a sellable skill. But I like this project. I don't want to leave.

So do I stay or do I go?

I don't know. I just wish they'd own up to the fact that there is no onshore opportunity for me. Get it over and done with. Don't feed me with false hope just to make me stay and not ruin their perfect project plan.

I opened up to 1 manager and now they all want to talk to me. Where was this desire to talk to me when they were assigning onshore assignments? Nowhere that's what.

Talking to me will not take back the fact I feel passed over. Sure they told me I was over qualified for the role for the onshore assignment, but at least that job would have added perks of being somewhere new whereas my role here is the same this with added stress and working in just a small cubicle in the same boring place.

Boring, boring, boring.

Just when I thought having suicidal thoughts due to having a boring life is so passé, here I am again thinking that offing myself would actually be better than waking up and going to work.

This is one of those times I wish I really have druggie contacts 'cos smoking weed right now might actually help me calm down long enough not to have a tantrum at work.